WWL: 2. Exploring the Unique Challenges Women Face in Pursuing a Leadership Position

How is that I hear all these women affirming my experience and my story, yet I started to question and doubt myself even more? Seriously, how?

Fioana’s experience where she is describing being an introvert and “living in her head” as well as allowing those negative thoughts to manifest into physical pain definitely felt like she was describing me and my experience all too well. I care deeply and passionately which doesn’t always work for my health. I have to find a way to take care of me too.

Rewrite the Script

Attempting To Change

• As an introvert, how will I ever be able to lead?
• What skills do I possess that qualifies me for a leadership role?
• I am not _____ enough.

New Mantra

• I take time to build strong relationships.
• I listen with empathy.
• I am extremely organized and my attention to detail is astounding.
• I am reliable and people can count on me to be there.
• I care deeply for people and the education of students.
• I will meet with educators and growing with them.
• I am intelligent and knowledgeable.
• I am devoted to learning and growth to be a better a person and therefore a better leader.
• I welcome other’s perspective regardless of how it fits with my own.
• I am dedicated to helping others be successful.
• I can be true to myself, authentic, and vulnerable.
• I am tech savvy and can coach teachers using technology.
• Curriculum is my passion and I can coach teachers in their respective fields.
• I will celebrate teacher’s successes and validate their hard work.
  • I often think that complaining is a way of asking for help or needed to be heard/seen.
• I have thoughtful ideas that will help schools move forward in their mission, vision, and day to day learning.
• I can lead! I have so much to offer schools because I am talented!

Vulnerable Moments Ahead!

Sadly, even though I know these to be true, that second guessing is happening even as I write it.

Why do I, and so many women, still question these truths?

Changing My Daily Practice

I love reflecting and will be utilizing that to change my daily practice, and self-talk, as an aspiring leader. Each day, I will reflect on the ways I was leading. I will write them down and affirm how that demonstrated and improved my leadership. I will write out these affirmations and repeat them daily as well as anytime I need to interrupt myself talk.

It’s 7:14 in the morning, today I showed dedication to learning and becoming a better leader by reflecting on my leadership and writing this post.

Challenges Resonates

Over and over I noticed these challenges:

• Women need to really see their value, worth and what they bring to leadership positions.
  • Go for it!
• Choose wisely and as respectfully as possible but disrupt microaggressions.
• Women’s relationship status is judged and used to make assumptions regardless of what that status is.
  • No win situation if single, married without children, married with children, or a single parent.
• Women needing to defend their presence, the pressure of “doing it all” to prove they are worthy of the position, and making sure they speak just right so that no one will be able to label them as a certain stereotype.
  • Trying to be everything to everyone at all times.
• Women leaders are stereotypically perceived as either cold/stern or motherly.
  • Women can make their own path in leadership and that is unique to them.
  • Women need to see all types of leadership.
• Women felt lucky to be given this opportunity.
  • In reality, women have worked very hard to be in these positions.
• My favorite take away is:
  • You can be kind, caring, empathetic AND STILL BE A STRONG LEADER!
  • This gives me so much courage and hope.

Every single thing that was spoken about challenges women face resonates with me!

For me the constantly second guessing myself, recovering from perfectionism, and needing to be everything to everyone is something I battle to persevere over daily. As I often overthink, I want to work on being present and not trying to anticipate 230948320942398743948239048 scenarios in order to be prepared.

Strategies In Progress Of Being Developed

• Respectfully being vocal about inequitable practices.
• Sharing my ideas for improvement and moving the school forward.
• Championing the IB program and demonstrating how students can be successful.
• Reveling in integrity and ethical practices.
• Being true to what is right.
• Standing up for myself and my needs as a human.

Areas To Address

The biggest area of professional growth for me is the experience and opportunities. While I mentioned in WWL 1 that I have “l” experience, I know that there is so much room to grow into the “L” position. I want case studies giving a variety of situations that require critical thinking. I want to make a decision to move forward in that situation before learning what other women have done in a similar situation. After examining how a variety of women leaders handled that situation, create one that best aligns in my leadership style that still allows for the best possible outcome.

I am really excited about working with my mentor so that I can have these conversations and grow. I have not had a mentor since my student teaching days. I’m so pumped about this opportunity to learn and be a sponge while also offering my perspective. I hope that we can have a great relationship and that she can be someone who would respectfully question me so that I have a FIRM why and cannot second guess myself.

Recently I have been working on burnout.

I really loved how they explained burnout using the 1970 definition but also that it was one that really connected with me.

I know that stress manifests itself in the body and causes pain. I also know the body needs to release the stress. However, this video’s description of a stress cycle needing an end was articulated so well.

Accornding to Emily Nagoski in an article Flo, “Herbert Freudenberger defined burnout in 1975:

1. Emotional exhaustion — the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long
2. Depersonalization — the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion
3. Decreased sense of accomplishment — an unconquerable sense of futility or feeling that nothing you do makes any difference

And here’s an understatement: Burnout is highly prevalent. In America, 20 to 30 percent of teachers have moderately high to high levels of burnout. Similar rates are found among university professors and international humanitarian aid workers. Among medical professionals, burnout can be as high as 52 percent. Nearly all the research on burnout is on professional burnout — specifically “people who help people,” like teachers and nurses — but a growing area of research is “parental burnout.”

In the 40 years since the original formulation, research has found it’s the first element in burnout, emotional exhaustion, that’s most strongly linked to negative impacts on our health, relationships, and work — especially for women.”

Wow! This hit home so hard. #1 and #3 are currently what I am battling. I was surprised that the percentage of teachers is that low. I found a couple of articles that examined it a bit further.

Per Jeff Campbell from Middle Class Dad, he reports that “‘66% of teachers want to leave their job and 41.3% of new teachers leave the profession within the first 5 years. Teachers also suffer from higher than average rates of drug and alcohol use. At any given point in time, 36.4% are likely to quit.‘”

He sites “a recent study by the Journal of Drug Education found that ‘Two-thirds of teachers may want to quit the profession, while 36.4 percent are likely to quit. Teachers report higher rates than a national sample of lifetime alcohol, amphetamine, and tranquilizer use’”.

According to Gretchen Brown at Rewire, “Irvin Schonfeld, a professor of Psychology at the City College and the Graduate Center of the City University of New York, studies the impact of job stressors on teachers.

But Schonfeld’s research indicates that what many of us call “burnout” is actually depression.

“‘What we find is that whether you treat burnout on a continuum, or whether you treat it categorically, it has substantial overlap with depression,'” Schonfeld said.”

All of this makes me think more specifically of how much burnout connects directly to women. I want to find more research on this to determine how it impacts the challenges women face as leaders.

As an educator, wife, mother, friend, and family member, I am feeling the immense pressure to be everything to everyone. I find myself not giving attention to other areas of my life and feeling monumental guilt that I am not doing enough and shame that I can’t “handle” it all. I’m working on having realistic outlooks that still allow me to be hard-working, dedicated self that cares deeply for everyone. Now I need some concrete strategies that will allow me to be successful as a leader and not feel like a failure in all my other roles.